The Tenth Leper

A month ago today I arrived at my new home in Philadelphia. Two weeks later, I arrived back in Texas, and on the 21st of this month I’ll be moving in to my new apartment in Dallas with a dear brother in the Lord. Suffice it to say, 2009 has been extremely fast-paced and unpredictable! This is a brief reflection on all that has transpired, the causes for it, and the spiritual impact it has been having on my life.

Seminary has been a desired destination of mine for probably five and a half years now. In the Fall of 2007, Westminster Theological Seminary first came to my attention. It, along with a school in Boston, became the two schools I gave all my attention towards. I decided it would be one or the other. For most of 2008, the question of where to go loomed in the back of my mind. I was choosing between two schools and three locations since Westminster had a Dallas campus. Boston was my numero uno choice for a long time. Eventually it began to be eclipsed by Westminster. For a while though I had decided that if I went to Westminster, I’d just go to its Dallas campus. I officially ruled Philadelphia out. Then Philly became my main focus, eclipsing Dallas. After months and months of wrestling through decisions and praying, I became intent on going to Philadelphia to Westminster Theological Seminary.

After finding a place to live which didn’t require me to sign a lease, I decided to go ahead and move up in January. Since I didn’t officially have a job and wasn’t certain I would have one upon arriving in Philly, a lease-less residence afforded me the freedom to bail on the whole endeavor if nothing worked out. In case it didn’t work out and I came back to Dallas, I wanted to know what it would take to transfer my acceptance to Westminster to its Dallas campus. Wanting only to see what it would take, I visited the campus in Dallas. On this trip, I got introduced to many students and professors, one of which invited me to lunch the following the week. This invitation was literally the second thing out of his mouth after his greetings to me. This was a Tuesday. I accepted the lunch date for the following Tuesday.

Four days later on Saturday, I decided to take the plunge and I called the owners of the house that I’d found to live at in Philly and let them know I was going to be coming the next weekend. Again, keep in mind that my visit to WTS Dallas wasn’t me deciding if I wanted to go there. It was just me finding out if I could go there if I needed to come back to Texas. I knew that Mike (the professor I was having lunch with) was going to try to get me to stay on our lunch date, so I wondered if I should cancel our appointment. In the end, I decided to meet with him as planned. I felt a little bad about making a final decision before I actually met with him, but I figured if nothing else he could impart wisdom to me as a new seminarian.

When I got there the following Tuesday, he told me that we would be joined by the campus president Steve, and Jason, the director of recruiting. “Oh this will be akward,” I thought. We went to lunch, and I told them my current plans, and they were totally cool about it. After lunch I met with Steve and Jason for a while back at the seminary, and Steve offered me a deal that ultimately I couldn’t say no to. How to pay for seminary was a huge concern for me. I want to pay out of pocket for this degree. To do that I’m going to work and save money and also raise some support. I’m pretty much refusing to go into debt. If I don’t have money, I just won’t go that semester. That’s my goal. If I ever did decide to take out any loans, I won’t take more out than I can pay back quickly.

Anywho, the seminary in Dallas is offering some pretty generous scholarships. I must say that this was the answer to my prayers for financial provision. From that point, I heavily began to consider Dallas. Additionally I got to meet some stellar professors (and one in particular) who made quite an impression on me. Plus there were many personal benefits for being in Dallas. I almost didn’t leave at all for Philadelphia after that meeting. But I decided to go ahead and go that Friday, three days after my lunch with them, promising to keep in touch with them.

After a couple weeks of number-crunching, meditation, and prayer, along with the fact that the job situation wasn’t really panning out, I began to move towards returning to Dallas. Originally I had thought that if I left Philly, I’d leave toward the end of February and start seminary either in the summer or in the fall. The family I was staying with allowed my month’s rent to be considered from 1/15- 2/15, which gave me the option of getting back quicker if I needed to. I started to look at the class schedule for the spring semester at Westminster Dallas (which began February 5). Hypothetically putting together a possible class schedule I began to postulate the crazy idea of starting then and not waiting until later in the year. I started e-mailing Steve back and forth and got the okay to go ahead and register for classes for the spring. To put the speed at which all this happened in perspective, from the day I decided to move back and start seminary in Dallas to the day I attended my first seminary class, there was a period of less than a week. I decided probably Friday, left Monday, arrived home at 4:45pm Wednesday, and left for my first class fifteen minutes later.

Two weeks later I’ve recovered from one of the busiest weeks of my adult life. I’ve just recently been rehired with a Barnes & Noble in Dallas and move in to my new apartment this Saturday. Class has been going wonderful so far, and I’m blessed to be sitting under some wonderful teachers of God’s Word. I’ve also been befriending people quickly there. The reading load is pretty intense, but I’m so happy to have books like these as my school textbooks.

Through all of this, I keep thinking of James’s warnings against arrogant boasting of tomorrow (James 4:13-17). God officially took months of planning, made a thousand adjustments, and handed it back to me. I wasn’t necessarily boasting arrogantly, but still I’m in awe of how completely different my life is shaping up to be than what I had planned. Life can change in an instant, so I should hold my plans very loosely. Through all of my planning, Proverbs 16:9 has been close to my heart: “The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.” On the flip side of Philadelphia, I can only read this verse and chuckle to myself about its veracity. Also relevant is Proverbs 19:21- “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.”

Contentment. If there’s one thing I’d say God has done in me in the past month, he’s grown me in contentment. I’ve been reminded how its ultimately God’s plan that determines where I am and where I go. I’ve tasted afresh his sovereignty and providence. And this inherently causes one to achieve new levels of relaxation and therefore peace. My plans may fall through, and I love it, because God’s plans don’t. He’s never surprised. These unexpected turns cause me to remember that God is in control and that I am safe. God has promised to be good to me, and events like those of the last month help me to be content in letting God decide how he wants to do that. I don’t deserve the slightest mercy from him. He doesn’t owe it to me. So for him to not only be good to me, but to be abundantly good, and on top of that, for him to PROMISE this goodness (Romans 8:28, Lamentations 3:25, Psalm 23:6)…I can only respond in utmost gratitude for the privilege of being known by God and knowing him in return (Psalm 116:12, Romans 8:32).

“my cup overflows” – Psalm 23:5